EMOTIONAL MATURITY - By EL_REUBEN

The greatest days in your life will start the moment you take total responsibility for your attitudes

and behaviors, thatʼs the day you truly grow and become emotionally mature; you donʼt think I came up with that, do you?

John Maxwell did.

Emotional maturity can be excogitated to be the ability to handle situations without unnecessarily escalating them, I know that seeing the description of emotional maturity, you would consider yourself to be emotionally mature; youʼll find out.

An emotionally mature person depicts some distinct features like: not blaming someone else for their problems or behavior, they seek to fix the problem in one way or another or they rectify the glitch; simply put, emotional maturity is taking accountability for your actions. 

According to a study commissioned by nickelodeon UK, It is germane to know that as a male reader of this work if by any chance youʼve not attained the age of 43 you have not reached full emotional maturity, same goes for females that have not yet attained the age of 32. There are certain signs that you exhibit that sets you on the path of emotional maturity, for example; being able to have a rational conversation or argument with your significant other when you donʼt agree instead of throwing tantrums or raising your voice unnecessarily is a clear example of emotional maturity ; when things get heated in an argument do not resort to shouting or being vulgar, as we should know that some persons will not at any point in time want to see things from the perception or angle that you see them from. By being rational during an argument you are definitely showing signs of emotional maturity. Now take out your time to reflect on this paragraph and have a flashback on the arguments youʼve had, can you say youʼve showed a sign of emotional maturity? As I leave you pondering, Iʼll go to the next sign. Emotionally mature persons are taciturn, they are not loquacious, they only speak when it is totally necessary, they are not reckless in speech, neither are they impulsive.

Controlling your words and emotions and stating them in a lucid manner sets you on the path to emotional maturity. Keeping your cool and remaining calm shouldnʼt be left out as a criteria for emotional maturity. Emotionally mature persons articulate their emotions in a very reasonable manner, they donʼt wear a masque of pretense. They harness their feelings and emotions in a logical fashion. Some months ago, I took note of

the behavioral pattern of a friend, I brought it to his notice, turns out that he wasnʼt even aware of the fact that he was a combative listener; I wasnʼt trying to attack him in any way, I only brought it to his notice; he reflected and said that there is room for self- development. Handling the truth when it is heard and not acting recalcitrant is a clear sign of emotional maturity; not many of us can boast of this.

Still on the case of my friend ; I made it known to him that Iʼve observed that he is a combative listener , if at any point in time he wasnʼt bothered about me finding a character flaw in him and was only bothered about me hurting his feelings and maybe even resorted to calling me names then it only proves that he lacks both emotional maturity and emotional intelligence; lacking emotional maturity in the sense that he couldnʼt handle himself and resorted to calling me names and also lacking emotional intelligence by not articulating his feelings or emotions rationally.

The moment you know the contrariety between actions and words and know that the former speaks louder than the latter, youʼre becoming emotionally mature. When you want to mould a relationship you need to show people how much they mean to you and stop telling them how much they mean to you.

As a youth, you know youʼre on the path to being emotionally mature when you fall In love a little hastily, having to live with the pessimism factor – not necessarily seeing the negatives to issues but knowing that there is a down side to everything ,seeing the accomplishments in your wrongs and appreciating your current state , forgiving your parents for their misdeeds;10 or 20 years ago you must have thoughts your parents could do no wrong , you must have seen them as demi gods, they must have taken some brand decisions that fell through in your life plans; forgiving them is pertinent.

As an individual, when you remove the façade that youʼve created around yourself of being special, things tend to become easier, connections come easy. It is pivotal to know that youʼre special just like everyone else. When you stop trying to be a perfectionist and learn from your mistakes youʼre on the path to being emotionally mature. Using the phrase ‘ʼI donʼt knowʼʼ isnʼt a crime , say it more often , you donʼt have the answers to everything , even Aristotle and Plato while In the lyceum didnʼt . Take into cognizance that emotional maturity is something that we canʼt do away with. 

We wonʼt get it right all the time but developing the habit of seeing our short comings and character flaw and the maturity to handle it is a stark sign ( no alliteration intended ) of growth; as the greatest days of your life starts the moment you start taking total responsibility of your attitudes.