How Men Can Last Longer In Bed, From A Woman's Perspective.

In comparison with men, I believe women have it relatively easy in the bedroom. Therefore I hesitate to lecture men on keeping an erection for hours on end, without at least the help of some blue pills. Women come (and go) as they please. The fate of the encounter doesn't rely on their ability to delay orgasm. Rather - in my opinion, they'd be crazy to attempt this. Too many times, I've been on the edge of an earth shattering orgasm and in an attempt be clever and prolong the build up, it never came back. After these not-so-clever tactics, I've spent the best part of an hour trying everything humanly possible to reach a climax; only to be left high and, well, dry. Men, I don't envy you. In order to please women, you need perfect co-ordination, a tongue like a butterfly, a reasonably sized cock, the stamina of a long distance runner and the ability to control when the game is over; judging all of the aforementioned on her individual preferences, which could change at any given moment. And yet diligently, you still ask - how can we last longer?

Prepare for a radical thought: imagine the outrage at the mere mention of women coming too early. How dare men make even a passing suggestion on the correct timing of us reaching climax?! If it were game over when the modern woman orgasms, I doubt she'd feel much guilt at telling you to get off her, so she can drift off into peaceful sleep (or if she's really avant garde, swiftly step over you, get her clothes back on and go home to the other man in her life). But thank God you're more considerate, because nothing feels better after you've just made us come with your mouth for example, than you sliding your impatient cock into her and almost putting us through the head board with urgency.

See, there was a time when making a woman come first relieved a man of a certain amount of pressure. Back then this was a luxury, she was positively spoiled. He was free to hump his way to ejaculation a few seconds later and all was well in the bedroom. Then women started to speak up. Now it's common knowledge that we want it all. We want to come - ideally twice. We want your tongue to give us clitoral orgasms and your fingers to give us G spot orgasms. We want our ass to be rimmed, fingered, maybe even f***ed. We want it standing, sitting, bent over, on our backs - and throughout all of this, you're meant to stay harder than a stallion.

Let me assure you - your efforts are appreciated and as long as you're keen to last for your own pleasure and not purely to satisfy female greed (there are after all, innumerable dildos to try) then try these things to prolong your f***ing. She'll thank me, even though I'm on your side.

First off - wear a condom. Sure, you be slightly desensitised but that's the whole point - you'll go for much longer.  Secondly, vary your approach and adopt the stop/start method. This is win-win for all, because most women don't respond well to repetition during sex, at least not until they're very close to orgasm. Withdraw before you're too close then have her gently lick her juices off you, paying special attention to the tip of your cock. Ask her to gently suck and caress your balls. The emphasis is on gentle movement: the variation in sensations will still feel incredible, but it will break off the intense build up to orgasm. For maximum impact and to keep up her momentum as well, have her climb on top of you so can simultaneously return the favour. (You might have guessed by now, I really can't advocate the soixante-neuf enough.) When you're ready to be back inside, keep her on top and encourage her to use her hips. Limit in and out motions, instead she can smoothly gyrate; which means less friction on your cock and more friction between her clit and your pubic bone. (Lay off the hair removal boys, for an even better sensation.) With your mouth amusing her nipples as well, you can pass all this off as purely selfless.

For a male lasting aid, the jury's still out on cock rings.  They will add pressure to the base of your penis, restricting blood flow - which delays orgasm in many, but can heighten sensitivity to the opposite effect, in others. They're definitely worth a try and if you feel yourself getting close, revert to the previous technique.

Finally, it's not sexy, but when all else fails, adopt the power of distraction. Orgasms are influenced more than most people realise, by your frame of mind. If she's only wearing some new Louboutins and it's tipping you over the edge to watch the spike heels digging into her buttocks as she kneels over you, slowly taking your cock in and out of herself; then close your eyes and divert your attention. Just make sure that whatever you think about isn't so off-putting that you lose wood altogether and end up making a bigger fool of yourself...

 Christina Wellor